in its neverending quest to make films that will sell in Hollywood, the Singapore Film Delusion, sorry, sorry, Commission has commissioned a local remake/adaptation of Francis Ford Coppola’s epic ‘The Godfather’, about a powerful family who is unafraid to exert its influence in order to further its business.

TalkingCock.com is proud to bring you an exclusive preview of its screenplay:

THE GOHFATHER (2006)


FADE FROM BLACK:

INT. DON GOHLEONE’S HOME OFFICE. Day

POH TONG PAH SAY
(seated in front of the Don's desk, facing the camera)
I believe in Singapore. Singapore has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the
Singapore fashion. She was a real Singapore girl. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not from the Party. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took her for a drive, with another boyfriend, also not from the Party. They fed her all kinds of stuff. Made her drunk. And then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted at first. But then… When I went to visit her, there were no covered walkways to the bus stop. The lifts… they didn’t stop at every floor. I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. But because she fell in with these… these… Her flat will never be beautiful. She will never be able to turn as good a profit when she re-sells.
[Poh breaks down. The Don gestures to Sonny to give Poh a bottle of Newater]
Sorry...
[Poh, taking the drink, sips from the bottle]
I thought she would come to her senses. But she’s stuck with the bastard for so many years now. And that bastard – he smiles at me. So I said to my wife, “For upgrading, we must go to Don Gohleone.”

DON GOHLEONE
(sitting behind his desk, petting a cat)
Why didn't you come to me earlier?

POH TONG PAH SAY
I thought… I thought the system would work. That people should be allowed to do what they wish. That they could go on without upgrading…

DON GOHLEONE
We've known each other for 25 years, but you come to me only now? I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of kopi, even though my wife used to supply peanuts to your boh tua boh suay daughter. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my leadership. You were afraid.

POH TONG PAH SAY
I thought it would be okay.

DON GOHLEONE
I understand. You found paradise in Singapore, had a good trade, made a good living. The police protected you; and there were courts of law. And you didn't need a friend of me. But now you come to me and you say -- "Don Gohleone, give me upgrading." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Gohfather. Instead, you come into my house when the real estate market is hot, and you are buay song that your estate has chickens wandering the streets, like some kampong, and can’t fetch as good a price as your old buddy’s son in Ang Mo Kio .

POH TONG PAH SAY
What must I do, Don Gohleone?

DON GOHLEONE
(stands, turning his back toward POH TONG PAH SAY)
Poh Tong Pah Say, Poh Tong Pah Say... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you accepted my friendship, then your daughter would be able to take the MRT to the nearby shopping centre and watch movies, instead of having her friends laugh at her for first having to take the bus to the MRT. And when you and your wife visit her in her flat, you can just step off at her floor instead of going up two floors and walking down, what with your problems with gout.

POH TONG PAH SAY
Be my friend --
(then, after bowing and the Don shrugs)
-- Gohfather?

DON GOHLEONE
(after POH TONG PAH SAY kisses his hand)
Good.
(then, handing him an envelope marked ‘Progress Package’)
Some day, and that day will be coming as soon as there is some good economic news, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day -- accept this little progress package as a gift which some people might construe as a bribe but which I will vigorously deny and sue them for defaming me by suggesting it.

POH TONG PAH SAY
(as he leaves the room)
Kam sia, Gohfather.

DON GOHLEONE
Speak Mandarin.
(then, to his consigliere, after Poh leaves the room)
Ah, give this to the Bhai to handle. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried away. I mean, we're not gangsters, despite what this peasant, I mean, paisan, says.

-- end excerpt


taken from talkingcock.com

posted by GORGE @ 11:31 PM